You really haven’t lived until you’ve met someone like J.P. Reef. No, really. You haven’t. He will change you.

And like David Badash changed me when he proposed what became the Great Nationwide Kiss-In, and I stepped on board, with no indication of the potentially life-changing end results, J.P. Reef started changing my life by simply opting out of the free frozen yogurt in Dupont Circle on a mild October afternoon.

While J.P. grew up just 25 miles from my hometown, and had been remarkably active there, I had never met him before, not until an exhausted moment on the afternoon of the National Equality March. I sat down next to him on a curbstone while our friends decided to take advantage of artificially sweetened freebies, and we found ourselves chatting for several minutes. Of course, I was intrigued by this stranger in a similar red t-shirt, this guy who exhibited the same passion that I did. After a fun dinner with friends in a nearby establishment, I walked back to the Metro station alone, not sure that I’d see him again.

But after nearly 53% of Maine residents voted “Yes” on Question 1, killing the possibility of marriage equality in the Pine Tree State, an unexpected e-mail popped up on my screen. J.P. was angry, upset, and hurt. He was inspired by the efforts of friends and acquaintances, as well as those of the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. He wanted to plan a new civil rights march, one that paid homage to the extraordinary leaders of the 1960s, not unlike the marches from Selma to Montgomery while also making the strongest, most personal statement that the LGBT community could ever make. We would sweat and bleed along a 60-mile route between Portland and Augusta, Maine. We would chant and sing and cry. We would make our voices heard like never before. We would be heard, and we would never be forgotten.

And a raw emotion welled up in my own soul as I wrote back to him and said, “Count me in.”

Weeks later, I am a co-chair of the LGBT Civil Rights March alongside J.P. and an extraordinary Presque Isle (Maine) woman, a straight ally named Samantha White. Together, the three of us plan to make history. We will start in the heart of the peninsula that makes up downtown Portland, and we will make our way to the State Capitol building in Augusta over five long days. This is the journey of a lifetime, a journey of which I’m so proud to be an integral part.

As we spend weekends with our own cash in hand, figuring out where people will camp out in between long days on the road, finding our allies and friends in churches and businesses and private homes along Route 1 or Route 24 in Maine, I’ve come to realize something about myself, my own passion. It doesn’t die. It becomes discouraged and little bits break off here and there, but it will never die. It grows weary, but its flame never goes out. This is the life I never expected to live, yet it is the world in which I have always belonged. J.P. helps this fire burn even stronger. Together, with Sam, and so many of our friends and acquaintances, we keep fighting like never before.

This blog will make a comeback in the next five months and beyond, as this March grows to its full height, its full strength. I want to tell you about what J.P. and Samantha and I are doing. I want to share our website, when our webmaster, Adam DePrince, gathers all the necessary materials from us to make it happen. I want to tell you about the ideas of our official photographer, Tanya Dodd-Hise, and our official fitness consultant, Jason Flanagan, who are going to step up to the plate and prepare all of you and us for that week in May. I want to share our triumphs, our victories, and even our defeats. This will happen. We will make it happen for all of us.

January 16, 2010 is J.P. Reef’s 25th birthday, and also our first official fundraiser for the March. This time around, we’re splitting every dime of profit from this event with the folks from the First Parish Church of Billerica, to give them a much-needed boost. While we fully intend to exhaust every resource, every person we know, every LGBT-friendly business and corporate entity to find the funds to make this happen in the coming weeks and months, we’re also starting at the ground level with all of you – our friends, our allies, our lovers, our co-workers and our fellow congregants and everyone in between. We want you to attend. We ask you to contribute. Just a $10 ticket from each of you helps us to get started. It will help to make glorious and unexpected magic happen.

But even if you can’t be in Billerica, Massachusetts on that Saturday evening, we hope you’ll still buy a ticket. It’s really quite simple. Go to the Donations page here in my blog, and click the Paypal link to buy a ticket. If you’ll actually be there, leave a note that you’re joining us and we’ll hold a ticket for you at the door. If you live thousands of miles away, leave us a different note with your good wishes and support. Buy one ticket for yourself, or buy five tickets for the March and for First Parish. Spend any amount of money you wish and know that you’re not only helping us get this special LGBT civil rights event off the ground, but you’re also helping a struggling church in the suburbs of Boston continue to spread the good word and support the LGBT population.

Remember that any amount you choose supports all of us. It helps all of us find our voices and our freedom.

And whatever you can do to support us, to make a difference, we thank you.

p/s – And we’ll talk about the other ways in which YOU can be part of this, because when the mild spring air of late May hits the coast of Maine, we’ll want you to march alongside us – whether it’s the last day of that week or all five of them. I promise we’ll talk about that soon.

While you can always go to my Same-Sex Marriage page to see the new maps, and read the corresponding notes, I’m going to give you the maps right here, and some very brief notes about what’s been happening.

- Same-sex marriage legislation was introduced in the Illinois Senate last week, by junior Senator Heather Steans. Her opponents in upcoming elections for the 7th District seat think she is merely doing it for the votes in her rather gay-friendly district. They both – Jim Madigan and Adam Robinson (a Republican!) – also support same-sex marriage. You have to wonder if they’re just irritated because they didn’t do it first. Side note: Illinois’ last attempt at civil unions or marriage equality fizzled in legislative sessions earlier this year. While the civil unions measure may have another chance in the Assembly during special sessions later this month, there may be more pressing matters to address. ETA: Unknown

- Earlier this week, popular D.C. city councilor, David Catania, introduced some same-sex marriage legislation of his own. With 10 co-sponsors and a mayor who’s eager to sign the bill into law, this may be one of the most cut-and-dried marriage equality races of the year. And no, it’s highly unlikely (almost definite) that Congress will challenge this. The Republican opposition – led by disgruntled I-got-it-handed-to-me-by-Tammy-Baldwin Junior Senator from Utah, Jason Chaffetz – simply wouldn’t have the votes to make it happen. ETA: New Years, 2010 (give or take a couple of weeks).

- Whether Jon Corzine gets re-elected or not, the legislature intends to push through marriage equality in the Garden State before the end of the post-election lame duck session. Corzine hasn’t always supported same-sex marriage but he changed his tune earlier this year. As previously reported here, he will sign it if the Democrat-led legislature passes it. And while nobody’s talking about the rainbow elephant in the Assembly chambers, they are expected to pass it. ETA: Christmas, 2009

- Besides Illinois, another state may legalize same-sex relationships in early 2010. That’s going to be – we hope! – New Mexico. After a failed attempt in their last session, Governor Bill Richardson plans to put domestic partnerships on the agenda for a special 30-day financial session of the New Mexico legislature. While non-financial measures aren’t typically seen during these budgetary sessions, Richardson is asking the legislature to try it again. Some argue that it should wait until 2011, but 2010 is Richardson’s last year in office, and he has wanted to make this work for a while now. Incidentally, the last effort was defeated, 25-17, in the Senate, with 10 Democrats joining all 15 Republicans in turning down the measure.

NOW, over to Europe…

- Earlier this summer, the Albanian government announced they would push Parliament to recognize same-sex marriage. While the primarily Muslim nation has a very low acceptance rate among its citizens for homosexuality, its government deeply wishes to join the European Union, and wants its own laws to be in line with the recommendations of the EU.

- Same-sex marriages and the adoption of children by same-sex couples are part of a revised family code in Slovenia that its leader hope to have Parliament pass in the coming months. The same revision would also prohibit corporal punishment of children. The central European nation has recognized same-sex partnerships for more than three years now.

- After being re-elected Prime Minister of Portugal, Socialist leader Jose Socrates fully intends to keep his campaign promise and legalize same-sex marriage. Despite a significant Roman Catholic population, Socrates also legalized abortion in Portugal in 2007. You’ll notice that change.org blogger Mike Jones hopes that Socrates follows through on his promise before an expected visit from Catholic leader Pope Benedict in May of 2010.

- A lesbian couple from Moscow challenged the Russian Family Code, which strictly prohibits same-sex marriages, and unfortunately lost earlier this week when a judge merely threw out their challenge, citing the Code as its sole reason. The two woman attempted to obtain a marriage license in Russia this past May, but were refused. They still intend to be married in Canada later this month, but it is unknown whether or not they will appeal the court’s decision. While Russia’s Family Code prohibits same-sex unions, their Constitution does not, which opens up the possibility for future legal challenges.

If you want a closer look at both maps, or if you’d like to learn more about situations in other states or countries, feel free to head over to the Same-Sex Marriage page in this blog.

I pulled this out of my old LiveJournal, from October 12, 2005. That was the 7th anniversary of the death of Matthew Shepard. Some of the grammar and such wasn’t to my present liking, so I revised it a tiny bit, but this retains the essence of what I said back then. I couldn’t help but think about it last night when I got home.

After a significant response from publishing it in my Facebook as a Note, and at the request of a good friend from college, Nick Porter, I decided to publish this here in DYM SUM, with some pictures from that day.

Many of you know about my cross country trip in June of 2002, from Boston to Los Angeles. Because it was summer, I had taken the northern route through the Plains and into the Rockies that cause the roads in Western Nebraska to slowly rise, higher and higher toward the clouds. By the time you enter Wyoming, driving along a windy stretch of Interstate 80, you are clearly in the midst of something beautiful and magnificent. I still have the photo album with pictures of that first rest area in Wyoming, a gorgeous, rocky stretch of land that leads up into plateaus.

My original plan was to drive the hour or so from the border town of Pine Bluffs to the capital city of Cheyenne, then connect to Interstate 25 and down into Colorado, about 15 miles south of there. But, instead, I ventured further along I-80 for another hour to Laramie, the place where Matthew Shepard died. In conversation, the day before, I mentioned this plan to my brother who literally begged me not to go, as if there were many others like the men who killed Shepard. But I told him I wasn’t worried, that I needed to go there.

And I did.

This was, in some ways, my closure, my way of dealing with his brutal beating, his death, people’s lack of acceptance – whether physically violent or verbally abusive in nature – and, also, my opportunity to pay my respects to a man I never knew, but felt like I did.

I think, in some ways, we all knew him.

We knew Matthew Shepard through other people who were kind, beautiful and intelligent souls like him. We knew him through the articles in Rolling Stone and the New York Times that showed us his friends, his college, his social life, his experiences in this world. We knew him through his mother Judy, because she was like our mother, the mother of any kid out there who cared enough to tell the world how much she loved her son, gay or not.

I knew him because I could have been him. We all could have been him.

Laramie is a college town, seemingly isolated from the rest of the world, in a valley in south-central Wyoming. To get there, you continue along Interstate 80 for a desolate 50-mile stretch, the final few miles being a sharp drop from a high point more than a mile and a half above sea level in the Presidential Range down to the town which lies on a plain not unlike those we read about in Annie Proulx’s stories.

As soon as I entered the town, I couldn’t help but drive slowly and look around at everything.

I remember stopping at the Motel 6, right off the highway, and reserving my room, then venturing outward to see what this place looked like. I stopped at a gas station and asked the clerk, a young college student, about him. I know I didn’t imagine her looking around to make sure we were alone. She whispered to me, “We don’t like to talk about that much.”

“Why?” I asked.

“We’re not all like those boys,” she replied. “People seem to think we’re all like that, but we’re not.”

It’s still clear as day.

I said I wanted to pay my respects and she said that it happened outside town, but “Nobody really goes out there.”

I drove by the bar where Matt met his murderers, and I drove by the University of Wyoming campus. I got a sandwich. I sat in my car in the parking lot, and I wasn’t ready to return to the motel just yet. I had to do this.

Much to the chagrin of my little Escort, I drove back into the mountains, to the hiking trails and presidential monuments, and into the woods. It was there that I saw a small shrine, a wooden cross, dead flowers, a little stuffed Elmo that had been faded by weeks of sunlight. I remembered the memorial services being blasted across television screens when it first happened, crying girls holding stuffed Elmo dolls and flickering candles. I ventured farther into the wilderness to places where the quiet superseded the highway traffic, where nobody else was, where the voices and the anguish of so many blazed through my mind to destroy the peace of this beautiful, but damned wilderness.

I needed to be there. I needed to understand. I prayed. I cried a little. I felt a hurt that I couldn’t comprehend.

What the fuck was wrong with us, with gay people, that made people behave the way those two men did when they abused and tortured Matt, when they tied him to a fence and left him to die? Why were people so scared of who we were, of who we are? Why do we have to struggle to be accepted when there was such a tiny difference between us and the rest of the world?

It became late, and I heard noises, things that weren’t there. I had to leave. I returned to the motel and laid in bed for hours with my eyes open to the ceiling before I could finally sleep.

The next morning, I woke up from a terrible dream that I couldn’t remember the instant I opened my eyes. It was a little after 5, and there was a vast chill that encompassed everything. Instead of staying in bed to comfort myself, I showered quickly so I could leave and continue my journey to Los Angeles. Instead of the highways, I decided to take a simple two-lane road from Laramie that descended through the fog and clouds into the pastures and hillsides of northern Colorado. US-287 parallels train tracks and, for miles and miles, a fence that didn’t look much different from Matthew’s fence.

On a desolate stretch of road like that one, anywhere in this world, I can still hear the opening guitar from Sheryl Crow’s No-One Said It Would Easy playing on my stereo as it did that Thursday morning. Sometimes, when I’m scared or alone, I can still taste my own tears from that evening in the mountains.

It’s not just about Matt Shepard, but it’s also Brandon Teena, it’s Gwen Araujo, it’s a lot of other people, too countless to mention, whose names we shouldn’t know, but we do.

It’s the teenage girl whose head was smashed in by a baseball bat a couple of years ago in the nearby town of Concord, when all she was doing was walking home from a candlelight vigil hosted by the GLBT group at her high school – she’s never been the same.

It’s the guy I dated a while back who left a New Years party in the South End and never got home because a local gang had to initiate two of new members by having them “beat the shit out of a faggot” – he barely survived.

It’s the kid on my old college campus whose roommates stood over him in the middle of the night to tell him that he better find a new place to live because they didn’t like faggots.

I couldn’t pinpoint why I was so sad this morning when I first woke up… it’s as if my body knew, if my brain remembered this event for which I was not a witness. I don’t think we can ever forget now.

Oh, Matty. You poor, poor boy. We all loved you. We will always miss you. Rest In Peace, kiddo. You’re certainly in a better place right now.

And I’m so sorry you had to sleep forever before so many of us would finally wake up.

(Photos 1, 3, 4, 5: from my personal collection, taken on 19 and 20 June 2002)

Interesting developments arose in both New Hampshire and Maine yesterday related to their same-sex marriage legislation. Some may suggest that both of them are rather unexpected.

New poll numbers out of Maine suggest that the tide may be turning in favor of retaining same-sex marriage in The Pine Tree State. Democracy Corps reported that a poll last week, asking 880 voters how they would respond to Question 1 in Maine, brought about the following results:

While the ballot question is rather confusing, and may throw voters in November, these are the first poll results of Maine that indicate that the marriage equality law passed by the Maine legislature and signed by Governor Baldacci in May of this year might remain intact. Previous polls favored removal of the law, but remained within the margin of error. This makes the situation there too close to call at the moment, and the No on 1 campaign remains in full swing for the final five weeks before Election Day.

Next door, the Granite State, while ready to begin offering same-sex marriages to its LGBT citizens just three months from today, on January 1, 2010, is meeting new resistance from some conservative lawmakers. State Represenative Dan Itse (R-Fremont) plans to sponsor legislation that, if passed, would allow the people of New Hampshire to vote on a constitutional amendment in November 2010, which would limit marriage to heterosexual couples only.

It is unknown if Itse will be successful, particularly since the New Hampshire legislature only recently voted in favor of same-sex marriage, and these same legislators will hold those seats when the bill is introduced in January. The AP reports that similar efforts have failed in the past, but LGBT citizens in the Granite State who plan to marry after the New Year will most likely be holding their breaths until the measure is fully handled.

It’s been one of the worst kept secrets in 2009, that same-sex marriage is a sure thing in New Jersey before the end of this year; that the Democrat-led legislature would pass an 18 month-old bill that has been collecting a significant layer of dust in committee during the legislature’s lame duck session after this year’s elections; that Governor Jon Corzine (pictured, left) – whether re-elected or not – would sign the bill into law, allowing the once-nicknamed “armpit of the nation” to join the “cool kids” of the Marriage Equality club.

While the New Jersey legislature plans to have everything in place before the end of the calendar year, those who oppose same-sex marriage in New Jersey, including “pro-family” activists and conservative Republican lawmakers, want the legislature and the people to amend the State Constitution so that marriage is defined solely as between a man and a woman. Governor Corzine, who is not expected to be re-elected next month, disagrees. The Star-Ledger reported on this earlier this week:

During a forum at Rider University last week, Corzine said it’s unlikely he would support a ballot question to decide the definition of marriage because he believes decisions on marriage equality should be made by elected officials.

“I understand this is a deeply divisive issue,” Corzine said. “All people are created equal.”

The lawmakers and advocates at the Statehouse news conference [on Monday] pointed to other states that have already limited marriage to heterosexual couples through constitutional amendments. “Thirty states, three-fifths of the United States, have voted to amend their state constitution to make marriage one man, one woman. And I sincerely believe that would happen here in New Jersey if the people had the right to vote,” said Gregory Quinlan, Director of Government Affairs for New Jersey Family First.

Meanwhile, Garden State Equality, which has worked closely with the Corzine administration and Democrat-led legislature for a number of pieces of pro-LGBT legislation, has not confirmed that the lame duck push will occur; their only comment was that they were bothered that opponents of same-sex marriage would hold such a press conference on Yom Kippur, the most significant holy day for Jewish people. The bill’s lead sponsor in the Assembly, Reed Gusciora (D-Mercer), has also darted around the issue, only claiming that he plans to work on a number of bills that he has sponsored or co-sponsored during that time.

Earlier this year, and despite a storm of opposition from religious leaders and conservatives, the District of Columbia voted to recognize same-sex marriages performed elsewhere. Around that time, City Councilor David Catania (pictured, left) vowed that he would introduce legislation later in the year to bring marriage equality to the District.

That day has finally arrived.

Last night, Catania announced to an audience of 150 gay rights activists that the long-awaited legislation would be introduced at the next City Council meeting on Tuesday, October 6. The bill would change the city’s Code to allow two eligible individuals of any gender to be married, yet would still provide protection to any religious organization that refuses to perform those ceremonies. Ten of the 13 Council members are co-sponsoring the bill, which is expected to easily pass around Thanksgiving, and Mayor Adrian Fenty, a long-time supporter, will sign the bill.

As you may remember with previous legislation that recognized same-sex marriage, a bill approved by the Council and signed by the Mayor doesn’t immediately become law; there is a 30-day period where Congress is allowed to disapprove the law. Should they enact a joint resolution between the two houses of Congress, and the President signs it, then the bill dies. If Congress does nothing within that 30-day period, then the bill can become a law. (See the D.C. City Council website for more information.)

Whether or not Congress will combat this new law remains to be seen. Earlier this year, there were a couple of disorganized attempts to reject the District’s law that would recognize same-sex marriages performed elsewhere. This could certainly happen again, once the Council passes their marriage equality bill, but it is unlikely – given the present Democratic majority in both houses of Congress, not to mention their leadership and the general belief that marriage laws are up to states and other jurisdictions to decide for themselves – that any joint resolution of this type would find approval. That said, it appears likely that same-sex marriage will be legalized in the District before the end of January, 2010.

This past Friday, certain things in my life really began to fall into place. I had a amazing job interview; before it was even over, the person interviewing me decided I should have a second interview with senior management. Within two hours, a second company decided to speed up their own hiring process so that they might get me first. While it’s unlikely that I’ll see the end result of these interviews and inquiries for several weeks, it was nice to know I was finally wanted by an employer. Visions of regular paychecks danced in my head as I settled my brain for a late summer’s nap.

Meanwhile, in between interviews and phone calls and such, my activist group, Join the Impact Massachusetts, has been encouraging me to attend the National Equality March with them. And I want to go. Even though Massachusetts is the second best state for LGBT protections in the United States right now (Vermont is on top, thanks to previously passed legislation that protects the transgender population), it doesn’t change the fact that so much work still needs to be done here and on the national level.

I have LGBT friends and acquaintances that live in states where their civil rights are painfully truncated. They cannot be legally married; their relationships are not legalized at all. They can be fired from a job for no other reason than their sexuality or gender identity. They are not considered part of a protected class under existing hate crimes legislation. They cannot adopt children, even if their income and home environment would provide that child the best possible circumstances. They cannot openly serve in the military, even if their service to our country has been smothered by medals and other commendations.

David Badash and I are going to start considering the plans for Kiss-In 2.0 in the coming months. While our first national Kiss-In event was successful to a degree that neither of us ever expected, we know that the second one can be enormous. We both planned to network our way through the March events and workshops, make new friends, meet the old ones, and really get the ball rolling on the possibilities for next year.

The bottom line: I can’t attend the March without your help. It would cost me approximately $250 to get through the weekend, from Friday night to Monday morning. That pays for the bus ride down to D.C.; a hotel room the night of October 10 (which I’d be sharing with somebody); food and transportation (probably a lot of Metro rides) during the weekend; and the bus ride back to Boston.

And I know I’m not the only person who would struggle with the costs. There are so many other folks from this area – a number of high school and college students who are involved in the activist movement – who want to do more, who want to take this opportunity to continue to lead the movement in this area and around the country. As students, they can’t afford the full cost of the weekend either.

So, this is what I’m hoping for. I’m hoping that you’d be willing to give up your coffee for one day – for me, and for other activists. It is safe to bet that most working folks spend between $4 and $5 per day at a Starbucks, or a Dunkin’ Donuts, to get their morning fix. If 50 of you gave up your coffee for one day – just one day – I would have the money I needed to attend.

Let’s ramp this up a bit, though: because I’m not the only one who wants to attend, but may not be able to, what if we all gave up our coffee and muffin for a day? Let’s make it this Friday, September 25. If 500 people gave up their coffee on Friday, then you could send ten activists to D.C. from the Boston area. What about 1,000 folks? Then, 20 activists could attend. The possibilities are endless.

For one day, the coffee shops don’t need your money. The activists trying to go to D.C. do, though. You wouldn’t be paying for a party weekend; you’d be paying for me, and other folks to gain the tools and contacts we need to keep working toward full equality in all 50 states. Even if you’re not from the Boston area, think about it. Think about how your $5 would help either completely pay for, or subsidize the costs. It’s one coffee, one muffin – maybe not so much for you, but it’s one more step toward helping us reach for the stars.

Please join my Facebook group: Give Up Your Morning Coffee for LGBT Equality, then spread the word to your friends and acquaintances. Help me go to D.C. Help others go to D.C. Go to my Donations page, if you’re interested in helping us.

In advance, thank you!

A few months ago, we received news out of the state of Maryland that Attorney General Doug Gansler was researching whether or not out-of-state same-sex marriages could be recognized. More than three months ago, Gansler reportedly said he would come to a decision in a few weeks. Several weeks later, we learned that Governor Martin O’Malley, who doesn’t support full marriage equality in Maryland, would support Gansler’s decision, if he agreed to recognize those same-sex marriages. Now, nearly three and one-half months after Gansler announced that he was researching the subject, we are finally hearing more news on that research.

Last Friday, the Washington Blade reported that Gansler would probably be releasing his decision… in the next few weeks. Representatives from the ACLU, as well as LGBT rights advocates in Maryland are still hopeful that the final outcome will, in fact, be favorable for same-sex marriage. From the Blade:

Jana Singer, a University of Maryland law professor who in 2007 filed papers supporting 19 gay and lesbian plaintiffs who challenged the state law defining marriage as the union between one man and one woman, said there’s “a very good chance” that Gansler’s opinion will be favorable to gay couples.

“That position would be consistent with the general legal principles of marriage recognition — that marriages legal where performed should be recognized as valid in all other states,” she said. “The exception to that is if the receiving state finds that it would violate some fundamental public policies, like polygamist marriages.”

Singer noted a generally favorable sign on the matter is that Maryland lawmakers “have consistently expanded the benefits that are available to same-sex couples.”

“It suggests that evolving public policy in Maryland is toward protection and non-discriminatory treatment of same-sex relationships, even if it doesn’t go as far as celebrating those relationships as marriages in Maryland,” she said.

Singer said another favorable sign is that in the Maryland high court’s 2007 decision on same-sex marriage, the court “did not say that same-sex marriage violates public policies, but said it was a legislative matter.”

“The court was not going to usurp what it saw as the role of the legislature in the decision,” she said. “If the Maryland Legislature were to decide to recognize the celebration of same-sex marriages, the court has indicated that it would have no objection.”

Limited domestic partnerships were legalized in Maryland on July 1, 2008. While efforts to legalize full same-sex marriage benefits in the state have failed in the last two legislative sessions, and a case brought before the Maryland Supreme Court also failed to bring about marriage equality, attempts to ban same-sex marriage via constitutional amendment have also never made it out of the legislature. It is unknown if Equality Maryland will make an additional push for same-sex marriages in the next session.

A good friend and fellow activist, Don Gorton, is taking the DYM SUM reins for a moment to provide you with some incredibly important information about our upcoming Community Meeting for the National Equality March. Join the Impact Massachusetts is organizing a small fleet of buses as well as reserving a significant number of hotel rooms for anyone in this area who is interested in attending the National Equality March with us in Washington D.C. on October 10 and 11 of this year. Please read his message carefully. If you have any questions, don’t hesitate to contact him at (617) 285.8965, or simply RSVP for the Community Meeting here.

On Sunday, September 20, 2009, Join the Impact MA (“JTIMA”) is holding an open meeting at 3 PM at the Old West Church, 131 Cambridge St., in Boston (Click here for map). The gathering aims to generate interest in the Oct. 10-11 LGBT National Equality March on Washington, DC and to welcome aboard new activists interested in working for full equality. Along with the March on Washington, the meeting agenda will focus on the campaign to preserve marriage equality in Maine and ways Bay Staters can help.

JTIMA is offering travel packages to facilitate Greater Boston area participation in the National Equality March. For $89 round trip transportation (Boston to Washington and back) is available, for 2 day trips leaving 10 PM on Friday, October 9, and for 1 day stays, leaving 10 PM on Saturday, October 10. Buses will return to Boston at 10 PM on Sunday, October 11. $149 includes one night’s hotel accommodation at the

I’ve lived in two major cities in my life. It was only for a few months in each one, but I spent six months living in the heart of Boston, just inside the Medical Area and off the Fenway, then six months in what locals called “West Hollywood Adjacent,” but was actually Los Angeles, a few hundred yards from the West Hollywood city limits. They’re two entirely different urban areas, but they were still urban. They were big cities. With Los Angeles, it goes without saying, but the little city in which I grew up was just 15 miles as the crow flies from Boston. It was an entirely different world.

I think of this tonight because, while I’m living in that little city at the moment, I’ve spent quite a bit of time in the wilds of Boston during these past three and one-half months. No, no. Working there doesn’t count. I’m talking about my activist work and actual socializing. I’ve seen the insides of many other people’s apartments, and gone to bars, and found myself protesting in various locales in Boston, and I realize why I was drawn there in the first place. I am desperate to call one of those little apartments my own. I want to be in the middle of the noise and smoke. I want to walk to the subway. I want to be able to hold my boyfriend’s hand on the walk home and experience barely a glance, or even a smile.

I want to be alive once again.

When I was younger, it didn’t make a difference. I loved that little city because I didn’t know any better. I didn’t have a reason to escape. When I found myself, who I really was upon the advent of m4m (that’s “Men for Men”) internet chat rooms on AOL, I needed to escape. That little city would never understand who I was. I needed a new home where I could feel safe, so I could feel alive.

I think that’s why a number of us are drawn from our little cities and towns to these major metropolitan areas. We need to find others who are just like us. We need to call someplace else home so we don’t hesitate to be ourselves. When you spend so many years struggling with your sexuality, when you finally emerge from your closet and realize exactly who you were meant to be, there’s an urge to find others like you, or others who will accept every ounce of your being. You exceed desperate. You will not compromise.

While I’ve spent most of my time since coming out living in this little city, I’ve yearned for the shelter of the Bostonian liberalopolis. Don’t get me wrong. I have nice neighbors, and we talk from time to time, but they will never understand me. I am not myself around them. I am this secondary individual who discusses the weather, helps elderly neighbors find constellations in the sky, provides updates on my parents, discusses plants with the guy who does lawn work in the neighborhood. Those things that really matter to me, that indicate who I am, remain unsaid. I could never kiss a guy in my driveway in broad daylight. It would exceed scandalous. They’d probably take a second collection at the Catholic church down the street to pay for my speedy recovery.

If you lived in a little city like I do, like Peabody, everything is different. A rain storm, a strong breeze, the snow falling on a winter’s night – it’s all so lonely. You can hear it with each drop or snowflake. The wind should be beautiful, but instead, it evokes a certain sadness. It shouldn’t be so vivid, but it has very little competition. I’m listening to the rain falling tonight and I’m homesick for a city that isn’t really my home. I think about what I really want, but cannot have. I don’t know that I really care for what I’ve lost, but I’m still desperate to be found.

I know who I am tonight. I know what matters. I know that desire which leads me to fight as I do, yet it’s all muffled in this deafening quiet. I will find my way back into the noise, to join the rest of you who have escaped Lubbock, TX and Fort Wayne, IN and Federalsburg, MD and Belzoni, MS and Alderson, WV and Spanish Fork, UT and Leechville, AR and Greenwood Lake, NY and Twelve Mile, IN and every other little city and town that once held you captive. That siren song that we have all heard many times, leading us away from that which we knew uncomfortably into the rapturous and soft embrace of the whirling dervish, keeps sounding in my ears.

It is the same. We all are.